A lesson I learned about encouragement


One day a young lady called me to tell me about an experience she had with someone. During that conversation she made a simple statement that was so powerful it caused me to re-evaluate myself.

She said “She told me how pretty I was and how much potential I have and it felt good to be encouraged and not bashed.”

Now, You may be wondering how was that able to make me re-evaluate myself, but hear me out on this one….

When I defined the word I learned that encouragement is emphasizing someones strengths. Pointing out the good in a person in an attempt to get them to see it for themselves.

When looked at myself I realized that many times friends would look to me for advice. I would assume my advice was encouraging them, however most times it was focused on what they “shouldn’t” do or what “I wouldn’t” do.

That simple statement showed me that 9 times out of 10 I was actually hurting people more than I was helping them.


Well it is a proven fact that excessive correction breaks the spirit. Not only is it in the bible, but think about how you feel when someone is constantly telling you what you’re doing wrong? Not good right? You feel bad about yourself and what you may have done.

So what am I saying?

The next time you have the opportunity to encourage a person be sure to not harp on what they shouldn’t do, or what you wouldn’t do. Truly encourage them… Emphasize their strengths and all the good that is in them. Let them know they can do xyz because you know they are (Insert strengths).

Remember its never about WHAT you say and all about HOW you say it.

I hope this encourages you to be an encouragement to someone else…

How do you encourage others? Share in the comments below.

Stay Fabulous,


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